Relationship Talk With Bukky: Why do I feel bad for dumping my toxic boyfriend?

I know if I continued with him I would hate myself. So why do I feel like I did something wrong by leaving him?

Dear Bukky,

I broke up a  two-month relationship recently because I don't know how I feel about him anymore after an incident happened.

It all started when he began giving me attitude, he stopped calling, stopped chatting though I was worried and I was the one doing all the calling, most times, whenever I call, he doesn't take my calls. When I asked what the problem was he gave no reasons. I felt he needed space. And it continued for four days and in those days I thought, wondered if I had done anything to him?  But no, nothing. At least nothing I could think of.

I couldn't just let it go because I liked him a lot and I was beginning to fall in love with him. Few days later, I called countless times before he could get himself to take my call and this time I literally begged him to tell me the problem and tell me my wrongs. He replied by asking me why I waited this long to ask him, forgetting that I had called countless times and he won't pick. He was like he doesn't have anything to tell me and he does not want to talk about it.

To make a long story a short one, he finally said that I had flaws; that I'm not serious, I don't take note of little things that mean a lot to him. I apologized, begged him to put me on the right path so as not to repeat my mistakes. He refused and said he can't and that he has tried to but I wasn't picking up. I pleaded with him and he refused. I was virtually crying and pleading to him and he refused. I ended the call to cry out my heart, only for him to send a text saying he couldn't say this on phone... that his health challenge was the strongest factor that made him act the way he did.

I had STD and was on treatment [of which he was fully aware] when we had sex couple of times without protection. I was aware of his sickness and suspected that I might have infected him. I showed care and felt guilty about it and told him about all of this.

Now, that was a week ago, I called him to check up on him and also apologize… he acted so normal and he was like he didn't expect me to keep on apologising.

And did I mention that he is a fault finder? He has a "better than thou" attitude, he is always quick to criticize my mistakes and slow to celebrate my achievements. And he also said that I'm proud that I'm doing shakara, also that I'm unserious.

He said so many hurtful things to me that If I continued with him I would hate myself. And I finally called and told him that I was sorry for everything and also sorry for not being what he expects me to be and we should just be friends. So am I wrong? Please tell me Dear Bukky.
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Dear reader,

I hope the friendship is going to be one from a distance? Because, in my opinion someone with this toxicity [I’m judging from your mail] is not supposed to be anywhere close to you.

Did you do the wrong thing by asking for the relationship to end? No. It is far better to end it now, just two months in, rather than waiting for too long to fix character defects that are too significant, too obvious.

It would be a big waste of time to try this and still end up being unable to do fix anything before having to eventually get out of it, sad and broken.

I think you did the right thing. Believe me, you'll be fine and someone better will come along.

And if he continues being this way, make sure that friendship stays as distant as possible.
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