Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Pulse Blogger: Help! My child is a 'Highly Sensitive Person'

Black teenage girl

I am an average Nigerian mother, an expert at making assumptions and generalizing when it comes to my kids.

I am an average Nigerian mother, an expert at making assumptions and generalizing when it comes to my kids. Even if I notice something “different “ about any of them, I won’t consider it an option to discuss with experts or anyone for that matter. It simply becomes a “family secret”.

Many years ago, I went to a pharmacy with my sister to pick up her medication. I met a father, pushing his “mentally challenged” son’s wheel chair. He came for his medication, as well. He must have been about 15 years, yet he was far from being calm and composed (whatever that means), before us. One could easily palpate the love that this father had for his son.

In Nigeria, we lock up such children. Not that one can totally blame the parent, the society, our culture, is hostile towards children with special needs.

It might not be a special need; it could be an ailment, or even a trait. Yes! You read right! A trait!

HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person. Psychologists maintain that it is not a disorder but a trait. It took me over a decade to find out that I might have an HSP in my home! They have some characteristics that make them stand out , they are grossly misunderstood and most of them have childhood tales of woe , simply because they were “grossly misunderstood” as children.

Firstly HSP are very uncomfortable in crowds and large places. I remember how I will yell at her because she didn’t want to attend birthday parties, you know how it is, we take our kids, sit at the mothers’ corner, sizing up who wore what and why, while we show off our own kids (LOL). Not this one! Even if she went she will sit in a corner, away from the PARRY. Some HSP have extra sensory abilities (hunches) and can sense others’ feelings, so being in a party can be overwhelming for them, plus they react to bright lights, loud noises and strong smells. So do you think they will enjoy a Rock Concert? Definitely not! LOL.

An HSP basically has all the five senses a bit more hyped than the average person. They are therefore sensitive to touch, very ticklish and feel pain/pleasure more than an average person.

They see shadows or movements out of the corners of their eyes. Ah! Their vision is sharp like that.

I am not sure if there is empirical evidence to support this claim, but it is said that HSP usually have ailments like allergy, asthma etc. Well, looking at it technically, they are hypersensitive abi? So they ought to react more intensely at the presence of “foreign body “!

If the works of psychologists like Kazimierz Dabrowski on gifted children has any weight. Then maybe, just maybe, that “weird” child of yours, who is an HSP, is actually a gifted child. Read more on this and talk with a child psychologist, if you can.


Auntybspeaks.com gud to talk.

from pulse.ng - Nigeria's entertainment & lifestyle platform online

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