Tuesday, 8 August 2017

McShayn's Love Thread: Ladies, watch out for the 'almost-good' guys!

He's Mr. Perfect...almost

They are the f*ckboys who sincerely think they are good dudes.

The good guy's traits are obvious enough -  he’s affectionate, apologises  sincerely for his mistakes and tries to do right by his woman and genuinely puts in serious effort into holding her down.

The bad guys aka f**kboys are toxic, come with negative energy and are basically a complete antithesis of the good guys and they don’t even try to be different.

 They hold the badge of being scum to their chest. They hold up their hands when an attendance is called for guys that are a**holes.

There are good guys and bad guys. That much we all knew until recently.

Apparently there is a hidden level in between the good guy and bad guy stage where the not-so-good guys hide.

If you have been paying attention to Issa Rae’s beautiful, contemporary and super-relatable series “Insecure,” you probably must have seen the moment when that level was unlocked… the moment when the truth was uncovered to us all [Bless your sweet heart, Issa Rae.]

ALSO READ: How to stop insecurities from killing your relationship

Lawrence [Jay Ellis], who had recently broke up with his girlfriend is still not quite ready to commit to anyone again, having been burnt by her ex, Issa [Issa Rae].

He gets involved with Natasha [Dominique Perry] who obviously wants to go all out with him but keeps getting shut out every time she tries.

This does not stop him from spending long weekend staycations with her, having sex and doing other romantic stuff such as binge-watching her favourite series with her, and even feeling the need to come open about  ‘mistakenly’ going back to have sex with his ex.

Note that the confession and plea for forgiveness was unasked for. He probably gave it so as to 'clear his conscience.'

Tasha being the love-starved, doe-eyed, hopeless romantic forgives him, hoping that something great could still happen with him.

Speaking about her role, Dominique tells Vibe that Tasha “just sees good in Lawrence and she just wants to instill… some self-esteem and… confidence to let him know, ‘This is just a phase you’re going through… and I would love to walk that walk with you, if you’ll have me.’”

She had enough of him when he ‘abandoned’ her at her family party after spending just few minutes and ghosting afterwards.

And during her rant, she says to him: “you’re a f*ck n*gga who thinks he’s a good dude” and that statement rang such a bell with so many people.

There are actually guys who are basically f*ckboys with just a bit of goodness in them which deceives them into thinking they are good dudes.

These guys, let’s call them the ‘not-so-good guys’, have an idea of what it takes to treat a woman right and like Lawrence, put up an appearance of actually trying to live up to that expectation.

But indeed, they’re really just selfish and only sensitive when they want to get something or when something favours them.

ALSO READ: Why you should stop stressing about being single

The not-so-good guys don’t have the looks of f*ckboys or even their mannerisms. They usually look tame, nice and maybe do more nice things for women than certified f*ckboys.

He’s the guy who says he wants nothing serious but keeps doing romantic stuff that gets you second guessing his intention.

And when you try to meet him halfway, he pulls away and hits you with that stupid “I’m not ready for anything serious” line again, leaving you in a continuous, mind-twisting loop of uncertainty and clarity.

Obviously, any guy that repeatedly refuses to treat a woman right, who won’t leave  her and won’t stop to play on her emotions and feelings for him… he falls in this category, regardless of his ‘good’ intentions.

Innocent looks and those little, inconsequential little things he puts into being just slightly better than the recognizable f*ckboys don’t count either.

There are just two ways to being with a woman – it’s either you are good to her or you’re not.

And about guys, there are only two types - you are either a f*ckboy or a good dude.

In theory, there might seem to be a middle ground, but in reality, it is very clear that there isn’t; and when you are learning to spot the bad guys, learn to spot these not-so-good guys, too.

And avoid them just as you totally avoid f*ckboys.

from pulse.ng - Nigeria's entertainment & lifestyle platform online

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